Week 15 picks pt. 2

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh

I don't hope the Jaguars win so much as I hope the Steelers lose. And keep losing. They have a loudmouth nobody for a starting safety and an overwhelming amount of jackasses littered throughout their entire roster. Besides, they're not playing like they have a 9-4 record (I don't care if they just lost at New England) and Jacksonville is heating up like crazy. If any team in the AFC stands a snowball's chance in hell at beating New England, it's the Jags.


Seattle at Carolina

The Panthers have had more starting quarterbacks this year than Tom Brady has girlfriends, but it doesn't matter. Any QB they throw against the Seahawks is going to get put through four quarters of being harassed by a human garbage disposal and a couple of bloodthirsty pumas - Seattle defensive studs Patrick Kerney, Julian Peterson and Daryl Tapp.
And isn't Carolina something like No. 33 in special teams this year? If their punting unit is stupid enough to kick to Nate Burleson, I'm taking a drink every time that happens. I don't care if the game starts at 10 a.m. here. I don't!
And if Nate scores a TD on a punt or kickoff return, I'm breaking out the Jager.


Green Bay at St. Louis

I'm just gonna call it right now - the final score of this game will be a lot to a little. The Rams might have gotten some offensive spunk back, but even if Marc Bulger comes back from his 204 injuries he's suffered this season, it won't be enough to stop the Packers' explosive offense with Favre throwing like it's 1995.
On a side note, i think Al Harris and Stephen Jackson should compare dreadlocks before the game starts to see which one of them gets to take home the "Best Predator Look-alike" trophy.


Baltimore at Miami

This is a potentially catastrophic matchup for a Dolphins team that's more battered and beaten down then the average housewife in the state of Texas.
The Ravens are mad as hell and they're not gonna take it anymore, but that of course doesn't necessarily mean they'll sprout some kind of miraculous late-season resurgence and actually start winning games. It does mean, however, that the possibility of them hitting Cleo Lemon harder than a freight train smacking into a scarecrow is very real. If I were Cam Cameron right about now, I'd keep Dan Marino's number on speed dial. It's either that or get ready to dust off Jeff George.


Arizona at New Orleans

After starting the season like he was a blinded gimp, Drew Brees has hit the stride that bitter fantasy owners everywhere expected him to hit in Week 1. (Cough.)
They may be without Reggie Bush, but the Saints look like they're not gonna be stopped by Hell or high water (or the city of New Orleans in August of 2005) on making a playoff run for the second year in a row. Naturally, they could manage to fall apart at just the right moment and reduce Sean Payton's nerves to fried jell-o, but I'm taking them to beat an Arizona team that got its ass handed to it up here in Seattle last weekend. Neither team is a sleeper by any means, and if you disagree, you're the one who's probably asleep.


Buffalo at Cleveland

If you told me in Week 2 or 3 that this game in Week 15 would be a pivotal playoff matchup for two playoff contenders, I'd have laughed at your utterly bat-shit clairvoyant abilities.
After reading the disturbingly high number of headlines from Cleveland newspapers that included the term "Cleveland steamer," though, I'm this close to being a full-blown believer that the Browns (and possibly the Vikings) could be the league's two scariest squads on the rise right now. And the craziest part? Before this year, no one knew who the hell that kid Derek Anderson was. Now, he'll probably have half the NFL banging down his door during the offseason.
I don't see a way for Buffalo, the "good bad team," to find a way to stop Anderson and his favorite target Braylon Edwards at home.


Washington at NY Giants

Sentiment aside for the 'Skins, I hate to be an asshole analyst (does anyone else wonder if it's just a coincidence that "analyst" is "anal" with a -yst added at the end?!), but the Giants are playing pretty damn good ball right now. If they have a weakness, it's Eli, and the depleted Redskins defense should try to eat him alive every chance they get.
I'd love to see the Redskins pull of an unlikely underdog victory, but I'm not sure if I see that happening.


Indy at Oakland

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAhAhaha. HA. HAha. haha. hahaha.


Next.