week 14 picks - part 2

Green Bay vs. Oakland

No matter if Iron Man Favre is still banged up or not, the Packers are going to send Oakland packing. If Favre is healthy, (which looks like what we're gonna see), then expect him to fire long bombs to Greg Jennings and Donald Driver over the Raiders' heads before the Black Hole in the Bay Area knows what the hell's going on.
I don't care if the RAIDUHS start JaMarcus Russell, LaMont Jordan or Shaquille O'Neal. I think they have a serious hangover from an abysmal 2006 season, which comes concurrently with a permanent case of Art Shell Face.
OK, maybe not permanent, but I'm predicting someone needs to kill Al Davis before anything actually goes right for this team.


NY Giants vs. Philadelphia

How pissed do the Eagles have to be by now? They left Foxborough with a would-be victory two weeks ago, and then Seattle came to town and Lofa Tatupu singlehandedly took a crap on any collective morale they would've built up after that point. Headlines in the City of Brotherly Love said the Eagles have "lost that lovin' Feeley" in reference of course to backup QB A.J Feeley throwing more completions to Seahawks in the first quarter than he did to his own team.
Meanwhile, Ol' Eli is teetering on the verge of another second-half collapse with the Giants, and they have to be equally pissed off. I can only imagine Tom Coughlin's face during practice, and whether or not Eli painted a Hitler mustache on his portrait in the locker room yet.


Minnesota vs. San Francisco

If Tavaris Jackson can stop looking like he's constantly watching a 10-car pileup involving some of his family members in rush hour traffic, the Vikes might be able to magically create themselves a passing game. If not, then they're gonna stick to the old "give AP the ball" strategy and let him run for another 574 yards in six minutes. I think he might even set Mike Nolan's Annoying Power Tie #23 on fire if he gets close enough to the sideline.
And any Niners fan who reads this and gets defensive, please. Take a Vicodin and go back to sleep, because that's what your team's been doing all season anyway.


Tennessee vs. San Diego
Why did LT wait 11 weeks before calling a players-only meeting that said "hey guys, um...maybe we're underachieving just a bit here." And then they fire back with an explosive bludgeoning of the paper-thin Denver Broncos defense and fooled the world into thinking they were the same team from the 2006 season.
Sorry, San Diego, but when your entire crowd is audibly chanting the former coach's name on national television during an embarrassing loss, you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Still, the Titans are on the skids, and LT is looking like his former-MVP self. But I'm still being cautious with this one.